Bystander Intervention
Being an effective bystander
Why do I need bystander skills?听Having the skills to address problems, reduce harm, and deal with concerning situations that we witness听is a critical way to contribute to a positive culture on campus. These are skills that we can all use throughout our lifetime in almost any context.
People want to help
- Helping is core to being human and most people are highly motivated to look out for each other.
- We help for lots of different reasons like empathy, concern, social expectations, Karma, guilt, and moral obligation. At different times, in different situations, we might be motivated to help for different reasons.
You can reduce harm in the moment
- It鈥檚 usually not possible to solve everything in a situation where someone needs help, but small actions can have a big impact.
People can get better at helping
- You can expand your skills and develop more strategies for intervening that are both a good fit for the situation and a good fit for you.
Bystander Awareness
Effective strategies for helping
There are many different kinds of situations where people need help, but there are a few key strategies that work in almost any context.
听 听Be Direct听
Some situations are straightforward, like when someone falls on the stairs or clearly needs help and can鈥檛 help themselves, and being direct may be your best option.
听Be Creative,听Use Distraction听
Sometimes being direct has the potential to backfire, especially if tempers are high or people have been drinking, or if you鈥檙e worried you might be reading the situation wrong. Creating a distraction to draw attention away from a problem or interrupting a bad interaction can be very effective.
听Be Creative,听Go Covert听
This is the art of flying under the radar. This strategy can be really useful when you don鈥檛 want to make people mad or risk embarrassing them, or draw attention to what you are doing. A successful 鈥渃overt鈥 intervention might not look like an intervention at all to someone else watching the situation.
听Be Resourceful, Get Other Helpers听
Sometimes the best strategy is to alert others of the situation. This may mean getting someone who is better positioned to help or who has the authority to address the problem. It may also just mean getting more people around you to recognize the problem and join in helping.
听 听Now vs. Later听
Sometimes helping doesn鈥檛 have to be limited to right there in the moment. In situations that aren鈥檛 emergencies, if we鈥檙e acquainted with the people involved, we have the option to talk to them at a later time. In some situations, the most effective time to act may be later, not on the spot. You may want time to gather your thoughts or think about what to say.
Situations:
Person who has had too much to drink
It鈥檚 almost closing time at a bar where you鈥檝e been having a fun time hanging out with your friends. There鈥檚 a person who has clearly had too much to drink and you saw her friends leave without her about an hour ago after they had a loud disagreement. She鈥檚 talking to a guy who you haven鈥檛 noticed until now and he鈥檚 trying to help her get her coat on as he鈥檚 leading her to the door.
Evaluate the situation:
- You don鈥檛 know either of these people, but trust your instincts. If it seems sketchy, it probably is sketchy.
- Ask your friends if they see what you鈥檙e seeing, 鈥淒oes that seem a little weird to you?鈥
Strategies for helping in the moment:
听 听Be Direct:
- Focusing on her, 鈥淗ey, we saw your friends leave before. We鈥檒l help you get home.鈥 Direct her away from the guy and either make sure she gets safely to her place or, if she is clear about where she lives and you feel ok about her leaving alone, help her call a friend or call for a ride and wait with her until they arrive.
- Focusing on him, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 ok, we鈥檒l help her get home from here.鈥
- If he persists, you might ask him, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 your plan?鈥 鈥淎re you two friends?鈥
听 听Go Covert:
- Pretend like you know her and act really happy to see her again. Say that you want her to come with you and your friends to a party that鈥檚 not far away. Once you leave the bar, help her get home safely.
- If it鈥檚 difficult to separate her from the guy, you and your friends can insist on helping them both get home safely. By walking with them, you鈥檒l be able to get more information so you can better assess the situation and decide what鈥檚 best to do next.
Classroom comments
During a lively class discussion, another student makes a sweeping negative comment about people who have recently immigrated to the U.S. You feel pretty uncomfortable, but no one in the room speaks up about it, including the instructor. You are pretty sure that some people in the room might feel attacked or defensive.